Unhealthy Macs

Wow, bold statement huh? To get the ball rolling on a soon-to-be very controversial blog, I shall tell you more about these ‘unhealthy macs’.

So as a medical student, I consider ‘healthcare’ my industry. As such, I would like to tell you my journey of deteriorating health ever since I switched from a PC to a Mac. It all began sometime in April 2007, I placed the order on www.apple.com.au for a 15.4′ MacBook Pro to replace my failing Toshiba laptop.

Soon after the health hazard of a computer arrived, I found myself sitting in front of the wide, glossy screen more than ever. The intense images that bombarded my retina from this brainchild of geniuses made me crave for more. iPhoto loaded my thousands of camwhoring escapades in a matter of seconds – I no longer had to wait in agony for voyeur shots of my friends doing the dumbest things to load.

The backlit keyboard gave me new sight in a dark lecture theatre. It was like Gandalf the Grey illuminating the hallways of Moria in The Lord of The Rings. This computer was intelligent enough to sense the diminishing ambient candelas – it can’t be that sophisticated but why hasn’t PC thought of it? I found myself listening less in lectures and playing with this (or showing off) function more and more.

Our human eyes have an addiction to beauty and this electronic gadget was getting me hooked. If i sat any longer in front of her, I would get bed sores or deep vein thrombosis. If I typed unnecessarily anymore on this elegant keyboard, I was sure to get arthritic joints. My sedentary virtual activities sucked the life out of me.

No longer was I walking the malls to buy clothes, I just fliped the flawless screen open to awaken the beauty and the beast (refering to the casing and the hardware respectively). Double clicking using the aesthetically placed trackpad on ‘Safari’ in the dock opened a whole new mall. I was online shopping because I didn’t want to go away from my Mac.

I refused to watch anything on my 29′ LCD TV just 2m away from my Mac. I loaded everything onto this screen and watched it anywhere I wanted. In class, in lectures, in bed, in the toilet – everywhere!

This would be the death of me if I didn’t stop. Time spent sleeping gave me withdrawal symptoms. There would be burns on my lap if I used this monster too much.

That’s when I decided to enlist in the army. I realised the folly of indulging in this amazing technology. With another 2 friends of mine, one not a Mac user yet, we marched for Mac. We bludgeoned the witless PC users to pulp. We were brothers-in-arms, brothers proud to be.

Sun Tzu knew this fact eons ago, ‘Know yourself, know your enemy; and you will win all your battles.’ What our foes did not know was the frailty of their last-century laptops. They did not know themselves, and they, as a result, got bludgeoned. The stubborness of the PC seems to rule supreme in the heart of many, but the Mac army marches, akin to the Men of the West in LOTR. 22 million strong today, drafting young, fit minds all over the world, the strongholds of the Black Gate of Mordor (yes I mean your ugly Sony Vaio) will be overrun.

As our supreme general, Steve Jobs, addressed in his WWDC ‘07 keynote (superior Mac technology), the Mac army will be strengthened by improvements in communication – the iPhone. Paired with Leopard OS X, the age of computers has arrived. Behold 2007, the year of the Mac.

I have a better idea for you PC, how about you calculate how many decades you have just wasted?